A.K.A. How to avoid looking like a moron at the bar.
There is one thing about society today that never ceases to amaze me: the absolute lack of manners. In the bar it is the most present (also in retail, but that’s for another time). While this is in part due to alcohol consumption, it is by no means excusable.
Take it from me. I’m a girl, I know what most girls are looking for. So here’s a few things you can do that – in my opinion – will exponentially improve your chances to get a girl to dance with you. Yes, dance with you. This is not a guide to getting girls to go home with you. So if that’s what you were expecting, you’re going to have to find another blog, one probably written by a guy.
So here’s a list of steps you can take that will increase your chances:
1. Be Polite:
I cannot emphasize this enough. Manners are everything. Don’t assume chivalry is dead. One of the well known facts about most girls is that they’re all waiting for “Prince Charming” to show up. Remember those Disney movies? The Prince is always sickeningly polite and chivalrous. And what does he do at the ball? He asks the girl to dance! You would be amazed at the difference it makes to the girl being asked to dance instead of being grabbed. If you want to dance with a girl, ask her! The worst that can happen is that she says no, in which case, move on.
2. Don’t Assume:
If a girl says no to dancing, don’t assume it’s because of you. If you asked her nicely and she says no, consider the options. Maybe she has a boyfriend. Maybe she’s tired. Maybe it’s a girls’ song. Maybe it’s a girls’ night.
3. Respect Girls’ Night:
Sometimes girls go out just to hang out with their girl friends. It’s a well-known fact. Similarly, some songs are just girl songs! Don’t ask her to dance to “Man I Feel Like A Woman” by Shania Twain. Besides, why would you want to dance with her to that anyway? So if she says it’s a girls’ night or song, don’t assume she’s lying to get out of dancing with you. Chances are she’s telling the truth.
4. Don’t Lurk:
I can NOT stress this enough. If you try to insert yourself into their girl circle without a word or a nod and try to dance with them, you’re probably going to make them feel uncomfortable. That is the LAST thing you want to do. A girl is 87% less likely to dance with you if she’s uncomfortable around you. Yes, I made that stat up. But seriously, if you just lurk around, they’re not going to like you. They will probably also think you’re a moron. Period.
5. The Wingman Rule:
This one is extremely important. So, you see these two gorgeous girls dancing on the floor. So you walk up to them and ask one (or either) of them if they’d like to dance. They say no. You walk away, wondering what you did wrong. You know how girls travel in packs to the bathroom? Well that’s because they thrive in groups. Two girls are more comfortable with themselves than one lone girl (in most cases). So if you want to ask those gorgeous girls to dance, bring a friend! Two guys and two girls instead of just you and two girls. It’s a much better equation. And when they see that they’re both guaranteed a dance partner, they’ll be more likely to agree to dancing with you (unless of course it’s a girls’ song).
Never EVER leave one girl alone. If there’s three of them, bring three guys, or go alone. As long as there is more than one girl left once you’ve picked your dance partner, you’ve done well. It’s easy math.
6. Be Open:
…to new experiences. Many girls know how hard it is for you guys to ask them to dance. It takes a lot of guts. Therefore, if a girl asks you to dance, remember what it’s like when someone rejects you, and consider saying yes instead of an immediate “no”. Besides, you don’t know what you’d be missing until you try, right?
Similarly, if you can’t dance, be willing to learn! Some girls are great dancers and are willing to help a guy out. Besides, your country bar “cred” goes way up if you can dance. You don’t need to be a perfect dancer to ask girls. You don’t even have to be good. But you do have to be open to the fact that if you’re a better dancer girls are going to notice.
7. Be CONFIDENT:
But NOT cocky. There’s a difference. I’ve heard that guys like confident girls, well the same goes for girls. Put yourself out there. Like I said before, the worst she can do is say no. So just go out there and be yourself.
You’re more interesting that way anyway.
8. Be Considerate of the People Around You:
If there’s no room to spin a girl on the dance-floor, then DON’T SPIN A GIRL ON THE DANCE-FLOOR! Do you like being barreled into and knocked off your feet because some moron can’t control his moves? Neither do I.
9. No Drinks on the Dance Floor:
Unless you’re dancing in a group or with your buddies. But if you are planning on asking a girl to dance, don’t do it with a drink in your hand. And ESPECIALLY don’t do it with a mini-pitcher in your hand. I’m begging you, avoid it at all costs.
Besides, isn’t it much easier to dance with a girl when you’ve got both your hands? Wouldn’t you rather have your hand on her waist than holding a drink? I can tell you she’d much rather have your hand on her waist than your drink down her back, so just take my advice here.
And if you have a drink and she asks you to put it down before you dance with her, don’t be sassy about it. Just do it, or don’t dance with her.
So now you’ve got the anti-moron guidelines, and if you put them into practice I guarantee you’ll have a much better time dancing at the bar.
Note: If you’re feeling queasy about your dancing skills and want to improve, YouTube has a ton of instructional videos that are worth checking out. Just search “Country Swing Dancing” or any variation of it!
Another note: I’ve included at the bottom some links to some fun swing dancing videos, simply because I couldn’t resist.
Yet another note: If you’re planning on learning the complicated movements and spins, keep in mind that girls aren’t mind readers, and you have to be an excellent leader in order for them to know where you’re going.
Now, enjoy your dancing!